Thursday, July 16, 2015

A Heroic Tale of Conquering Aliens

Ladies and gentlemen, we interrupt your regularly scheduled blog-scrolling to bring you a special bulletin from the Intercontinental Blog News Agency.  At twenty minutes before eight, central time, Professor Farrell of the Mount Jennings Observatory of Chicago, Illinois, reports observing several explosions of incandescent gas, occurring at regular intervals on the planet Mars.  The spectroscope indicated the gas to be hydrogen and moving towards the earth with enormous velocity.  Professor Pierson of the Observatory at Princeton confirms Farrell’s observation, and describes the phenomenon as “like a jet of blue flame shot from a gun.”

I don’t mean to alarm you, but Mount Rainier is under attack from alien invaders.  Massive groves of what scientists are calling Geranium robertianum, or “Stinky Bob” for short, could be found encroaching upon the Carbon River Ranger Station as recent as just last weekend.  Now, this may seem like something out of a certain book that has entered the public domain as it was written in the late 1800’s and may have been loosely quoted above, BUT this is real life.  Much of the newly acquired land around the Carbon River entrance was once used for agriculture, featuring plants that are not native to Mount Rainier’s lush forests.  Luckily help had arrived, right on time.

The Mount Rainier National Park Associates arrived in full battle gear, thick leather gloves on hand and plastic trash bags nearby, to ensure the alien invaders could not escape once more.  With the help of the Revegetation Crew’s extensive training on exotic and invasive species removal, the MRNPA were able to corral mountains of the invaders until no more could be seen. 

With special thanks to this crew, we can rest easy knowing the park is safe once more.

Are you interested in saving the planet from alien invaders?  How about helping to repopulate Mount Rainier with native species?  Maybe you just want to come out and volunteer?  Then check out the Mount Rainier National Park Associates’ website at and sign up for one of their upcoming work projects.  No prior training in eradication of aliens is required. 

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