Ladies and gentlemen, we interrupt your regularly scheduled
blog-scrolling to bring you a special bulletin from the Intercontinental Blog
News Agency. At twenty minutes before
eight, central time, Professor Farrell of the Mount Jennings Observatory of
Chicago, Illinois, reports observing several explosions of incandescent gas, occurring
at regular intervals on the planet Mars.
The spectroscope indicated the gas to be hydrogen and moving towards the
earth with enormous velocity. Professor
Pierson of the Observatory at Princeton confirms Farrell’s observation, and
describes the phenomenon as “like a jet of blue flame shot from a gun.”
I don’t mean to alarm you, but Mount Rainier is
under attack from alien invaders. Massive
groves of what scientists are calling Geranium
robertianum, or “Stinky Bob” for short, could be found encroaching upon the
Carbon River Ranger Station as recent as just last weekend. Now, this may seem like something out of a
certain book that has entered the public domain as it was written in the late
1800’s and may have been loosely quoted above, BUT this is real life. Much of the newly acquired land around the
Carbon River entrance was once used for agriculture, featuring plants that are
not native to Mount Rainier’s lush forests.
Luckily help had arrived, right on time.
The Mount Rainier National Park Associates arrived
in full battle gear, thick leather gloves on hand and plastic trash bags
nearby, to ensure the alien invaders could not escape once more. With the help of the Revegetation Crew’s
extensive training on exotic and invasive species removal, the MRNPA were able
to corral mountains of the invaders until no more could be seen.
With special thanks to this crew, we can rest easy
knowing the park is safe once more.
Are you interested in saving the planet from alien
invaders? How about helping to
repopulate Mount Rainier with native species?
Maybe you just want to come out and volunteer? Then check out the Mount Rainier National
Park Associates’ website at www.mrnpa.org
and sign up for one of their upcoming work projects. No prior training in eradication of aliens is
required.
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